Snapshots of SAHM Life

Being a stay-at-home mom is draining and priceless, stressful and fun-filled, chaotic and routine. It’s overwhelming and unglamorous, messy and lonely, but it’s all I ever wanted… to spend my days raising my children and experiencing their days, their fleeting childhoods. To be there.

Still, days as a stay-at-home mom often involve lots of this.

20170706_155243

Caffeination on the go

A bit of this.

20170711_131550

Multi-tasking (with now-cold caffeine)

Too much of this.

IMG_20170607_193941_382

Toy mayhem

And always this.

IMG_20170512_133707_660

The insurmountable and ever-present, Mt. Laundry

Your days may also involve this.

IMG_20161228_164229_968

Grocery shopping and babywearing

Some of this.

IMG_20170611_143300_126

Nursing

And a bit of this.

IMG_20170518_094645_963

Playdate fun

Then, of course, there’s this.

IMG_20170323_120553_309

Mid-errand tantrums

This.

IMG_20161213_185621

Bizarre mishaps

A lot of this.

IMG_20170524_110225_026

In-cart public meltdown and sibling brawl

And, what day would be complete without a touch of this?

IMG_20170406_142928_223

Self-dressing drama

After all of that, you get this.

IMG_20170622_072031_999

Quirky cuddles

IMG_20170625_195650_452

Family time

IMG_20170609_162144_797.jpg

Simple fun times

Because you’re there for it all, you also get to witness this.

IMG_20170607_092410_612

Proud parenting moments

IMG_20170606_132704_701

Proof of your hard work shining through

IMG_20170505_125611_350

Love between your children

And this.

IMG_20170426_160444_346.jpg

Hard-won skills blossoming

And it’s all worth it. All of it.

IMG_20170713_121948_757

 

Growing Pains

#2 and #3 wore these. Will I ever cuddle another babe close in these?

#2 and #3 wore and outgrew these. Will I ever cuddle another baby close in these fleece footies?

It never gets easier, packing away my children’s outgrown clothes. Folding and boxing memories. I tearfully hold up footie pajamas to see the outline of my growing child’s former frame. I touch the worn cotton of favorite shirts, feeling memories seep through the threads.

As I pack away #3’s too-small clothes, I realize it is entirely possible I will never see another of my babies wear these items again. There are so many ifs… if we can manage another child, if we have another child, if it’s a girl, if it’s a boy. My breath catches and my eyes well.

It’s an odd conundrum. Part of me wants one more child… eventually. Part of me thinks that other part is bananas. Do I not have enough on my plate raising 3 children under 5 while simultaneously pumping to feed another’s baby? Is the prospect of potentially filling out a set of fleecy footie pajamas one last time so compelling that it’s worth all of the added time, stress, money (and pregnancy)?

I don’t know. But it’s sad to pack these items away not knowing if I’ll ever feel them close to me again, filled and stretched by the warm girth of my chubby baby. Infancy, babyhood, toddlerhhood, tucked away in storage bins. It never gets easier.

Where’s the Pause Button?

I just looked at the calendar and realized that there are only two months left of preschool this academic year. Two months??

Then my breath caught, my heart dropped, my eyes welled: my baby girl — the baby we weren’t sure would ever come — will be leaving preschool and starting kindergarten. How could this be happening?

Didn’t #2 just start his first year, toddling in with a backpack 3/4 his size? Did #1 just pick out her first day of school dress and insist on “princess hair” for the first day of her last preschool year?

How does this go by so quickly? How can I slow this down? I feel like I’m with them so much but I must be missing things because there’s no way so much time has slid by so quickly. Where’s the pause button?