Tis the Season of Crap

It’s prime birthday party season and Halloween is fast-approaching. You know what that means? Crap. SO much crap.

Am I the only one who can’t stand goody bags or party store loot? I know the kids love it — for the 30 seconds it lasts — and people feel inclined to give favors to party guests. I get it. Doesn’t matter though… I still despise the stuff. Not the givers, just the junk.

The bags of sweets and knickknacks only add excess crap to my already plentiful heap. The kids spend more time mourning the destruction of a $0.25 “Made in China” plastic toy than they actually spend playing with it.

Then there’s the fighting over who got what Ring Pop or which crappy kazoo is whose. The baby is mouthing every lead-tainted plastic car and trying to gnaw the rubber ball off of the plastic ball-paddle. Not to mention the bags of said crap filling my counter space. No.

Please, for the love of sanity, NO MORE CRAP!! Host a party and send my kids home empty-handed. Please!! Providing them with a fun afternoon and a sugar-high was repayment enough for whatever gift we gave.

I can guarantee most of the Teal Pumpkin items we will be collecting this Halloween will be tossed, just as I imagine the glow bracelets I dispense will be too. (Still, better to suffer a few extra spill-prone bubble tubes and googly-eye sunglasses than anaphylaxis.)

And so the circle of crap-giving continues. Halloween: the season of crap.